First, eat toast in bed the night before, which invariably leaves crumbs all over the sheets. Microscopic, constantly moveable crumbs that you simply CANNOT remove from the sheets.
Second, have a raging sinus headache forcing you to go to bed with an icepack on your head. Yes, certain to drum up fantasies of wild, wicked sex in your man’s mind….NOT.
Third, as sexy husband approaches you, shift around in bed and whimper…oh no…not in the throes of passion, but because you have toast crumbs stuck to your butt!
Ah yes, that paints a picture of a sweeping, erotic moment, doesn’t it? 😉