Disturbing Behavior

Biker Dude and I like to go to the casino near our house. Mainly because we’re frequent fliers at this casino, and twice a month they give us free buffet coupons. And hey, we like to eat for free. So when we’re there, we gamble.

We play the slot machines. We’re not heavy gamblers, but obviously we’ve showed up there enough over the past few years to get free buffet coupons. But we’re pretty low key. We’re not rolling in money. We bring the amount of money we’re willing to lose, and when the money’s gone we go home. We play for fun. Sometimes we win, often we don’t.

But here’s the thing. There are some odd freakin’ people who play the slot machines. They have their whole mojo thing going where they have to pet the slot machine, tap it three times, weave their magic hands over it while it’s spinning. Some of them downright beat the living crap out of the poor machine by punching the screen or tapping it so hard they think it’s going to cough up a winner. Half the time I find their antics more enjoyable than watching my own machine. We were there the other night and this older couple was working three machines. (Sometimes people will play two machines at once–greedy bastards). This old guy would punch the spin button then sweep his hand over the screen, roll his palms over the side of the machine like he was making love to the damn thing, then tap the screen again. He didn’t win any more money than I did. The woman stood in front of her machine, tappity tappity tappity-ing the buttons and rocking back and forth. And by tappity, I mean hitting those buttons hard. And then she leaned over and gave advice to her husband on how to handle his two machines. She talked, I’m not kidding, nonstop, to both her machine and her old man. I finally had to move because she drove me batshit crazy.

Here’s the way I do it: Hit the spin button. Did I win? Shit. Hit the spin button. Did I win? Shit. Hit the spin button. Did I win? Yay! Hit the spin button. Did I win? Shit. And so it goes.

Some of these people are very disturbing. What I’d really like to tell them is that all their flailing arms and abuse of the machine isn’t going to generate a winner anymore than me just hitting the spin button. It’s all random. But hey, if their mojo antics make them feel better about putting that 20 bucks into the machine, go for it. It’s part of my evening entertainment anyway :giggle: