Here’s my obituary, from the Random Obituary Generator:
We regret to announce the unpleasant demise of Jaci Burton, who on the 4th of May of this year was viciously stabbed by several zombies. This unfortunate incident occurred in a slightly distressed Buick Skylark in New York City. The deceased was reported to have shouted “Not my new shirt!” just before expiring. Jaci Burton is survived by Gladys Happyfoot, a trained chimpanzee. Funeral services will be held the 5th of next month.