Guilt and Cleanliness

Yes. I have a cleaning service that comes to my house every other week and cleans for me.

Oh sure. Some of you out there in blog land are thinking….well isn’t she miss hoity toity for having maids?

Well, not really.

I work a part time job with my husband. And I write full time. More than full time actually, when you break it down. Sometimes my days start at 6 a.m. and end at 10 p.m. I’m busy. All the damn time. 7 days a week. Writers don’t actually work 5 day a week 9 to 5 jobs, do we?

And the one thing that I found falling by the wayside every week was cleaning the house. So when the filth on the bathroom floor reached “Dear God in heaven I hope no one calls the health department” levels, I knew it was time to do something about it, because it became painfully clear I no longer had the time to clean the house. And it also became clear that no one else in the house was going to jump up and volunteer to do it either. (I don’t blame them. Not one of my favorite volunteer activities *g*)

So here I sit editing my proposal for my second Bantam Dell book, working on my laptop, feet propped up on my couch, while two women run around my house cleaning. And I feel this tiny twinge of guilt, thinking I really should be doing that. (Hey, I’m Italian AND Catholic…the guilt thing is inherent *g*).

And then I think…eh…fuck it. I deserve this. I earned this. I’m working my ass off over here so this is my one indulgence. And when they’re gone and I can inhale and smell….cleanliness, it makes me happy. And a happy me is a productive me.

I’ll still feel guilty (reference “Italian” and “Catholic” above). But I think I can live with the guilt.